Between Roger Clemens and George W. Bush, we had enough idiotic quotes to choke a dairy cow on this week’s show.

Listen and learn, Heide prefers cum and sand on the face over sand in the vag. She claimed to be in a fine mood, but Rhodian knew with a little prodding he could get some rage out of her. The subject of her hissy-fit at the Comedy Shoppe show came up and she had to eat some deliciously sautéed crow.

Mark Hamill is okay with Heath Ledger playing Joker in the Dark Knight, and so is Rhodian. The next question is, who’s going to be the next Superman in the Justice League movie? Hopefully Rhodian will like him better than Brandon Routh. Right now all he really cares about is the new Rambo movie coming out this month.

We discussed the new biography of Tom Cruise and debated whether it holds any water.

We talked about the effects of the writer’s strike on television programs, especially the weird-ass People’s Choice Awards.

Late night television takes a dive, with Letterman hitting rock bottom.There was some debate over the hotness of redheads. Heide turns her no-game-having nose up at them.

If you enjoy listening to trainwrecks, then this is the Chaos Radio Show for you. Speaking of trainwrecks, we discussed the teen pregnancy of Miss Jamie Lynn Spears and speculation about the baby daddy.

Rockit from the LunaticRadio.com Show joined us after the first break. We spoke to our Israeli correspondent in Philadelphia who to us naughty words in Hebrew. Cringe Humor comedian Josh Goguen called in to the show to say hi and plug his appearance at the Comedy Shoppe with Patrice Oneal.

Rockit convinced Rhodian to cross over to the Lunatic side, promising Cheerios and Jack Daniels. Radio war? What radio war?
Oh yeah, and we let Cris sneak in a few sports stories: Jim Leyritz’s $600 a night drinking habit, and Isiah Thomas’ promising an NBA championship NEXT SEASON.

Cris tried to get a good radio bet going with Rhodian, but Rho had had a little too much of what he was affectionately referring to as “John Daniels” to negotiate anything. Maybe when you can’t pronounce the name of the booze you’re drinkin’…it’s time to slow down.

We’re not kidding this time. Chaos Radio is really back online. Heide, Rhodian, and producer Cris have returned, in all of their foul-mouthed, ball busting glory.

We covered the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, with some exclusive audio that may suggest Hannah Montana is responsible for the former Pakistani Prime Minister’s death.
Heide bragged about getting her degree and talked about the hot chicks in her WWII simulation class.

We blame the victims of the San Francisco tiger attack for their own misfortune.
Heide and the boys get in a pointless gender role argument. We also disproved a recent study that says singing birds can make you horny. Turns out canaries aren’t sexy after all.

Stand up comedian and Cringe Humor Radio host, Jeremy Schachter, called in to discuss the end of Court tv and its new incarnation as Tru tv. Rhodian managed to get some digs in on Jeremy’s boss Starr Jones during the call. You should check out Jeremy’s website, www.standupjeremy.com to find out all the up and comer is up to.

Cris had a great story about his unpleasant run-in with a NYC cabbie this week, and we called his buddy Brent to back him up. Then Rhodian and Heide barely let Cris squeeze in a few sports stories before things degenerated into nonsense. By this time in the show, Rhodian’s nasty Jack Daniels and cranberry juice cocktail had him pretty well in the bag, so things got a little loud.

Hear Rhodian’s excitement about the new Rambo flick coming out in January, and exclusive audio of Queen Elizabeth’s latest television address and Pope Palpatine, er…Benedict at midnight xmas mass.

Check out our last show of 2007 and the grand reopening of the Chaos Radio Show studio.

Heide discussed her rendezvous across enemy lines, how she jinxed herself by telling a pant-crapping story, and Cris declares Lunatic Radio the losers of the Radio War.

Heide’s story inspired Alix, Rhodian, and Cris to share their own urgent poop stories.

We heard audio about Michael Vick jerseys being used to clean out dog kennels as details are released about his part in executing innocent lil’ doggies.

Cris searched the internet for Herve Villechaize’s artsy black and white porno, but only came up with a ponderous video of one of the late little-man’s live singing performances.

We invited our listeners to send fan mail to that wacky guy, Jonathan Lee Riches, who is currently bringing lawsuits against Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Bud Selig…and Hank Aaron’s bat.

Alix’s arch-nemesis, Bizarro, called in just to annoy Al. A smelly burping bum tries to hitch a ride with Rhodian, and Cris talks about his intolerance for homosexuality, pissing Heide off, as usual.

So the Radio War continues. Heide was mysteriously absent and we have to wonder if it had something to do with LunaticRadio.com's rant about us last Monday. Of course we don't take kindly to ridicule, so brace yourself for Rhodian's grunts of anger and requests for blood.

We tried to do something that resembles a radio show, but we just couldn't get past the RADIO WAR. We reviewed audio of Lunatic Radio's tirade and figured out that they are contradicting themselves. If they are a live internet radio talk show, why do they want to win a podcast award so bad? We break down their pathetic attempt to be recognized by a phony award show.

We also touch on Barry Bonds breaking the homerun record, but Alix and Rhodian were too distracted by random boobs and ass in the chat room. By the way, not on this show is the 3 hours of additional time we did after the show was over. You really have to start listening to the show live if you want to get the whole chaos experience. Boobs and ass flooded our webcam chat room. Be there next Friday as this Radio War continues and maybe Heide will back.

Heide bemoaned losing her best friend and having her dog die all in the same week, but Cris managed to take all the dignity out of her grieving process.

We interviewed Jason Atkins, President of www.toughsportslive.com, a badass website which features live underground fights from Brazil, hot chicks in bikinis firing machine guns in slow motion, and the focus of this show, live cock fights from San Juan, Puerto Rico. We get Jason’s very interesting perspective on the differences between cock fighting and dog fighting. We also played audio of Mets first baseman Carlos Delgado endorsing cock fighting and accepting a donation to his charity from the cock fight promoter.

We got some laughs listening to Joey Paulino’s tearful exit interview on Bravo’s reality show Top Chef, in which he not only emotionally fell apart but also lambasted guest judge Rocco DiSpirito.

Finally, no one would have thought it could happen, but Chaos Radio announced its beef with fellow Cringe Humor Radio show, Lunatic Radio, which can be heard Monday nights at 9pm. Lunatic’s host Kieran called in to defend their decision to compete against a bunch of lame-ass podcasts to win the best comedy podcast award. Check it out as we start shit and make the listeners uncomfortable.

Between Lindsay Lohan, Michael Vick, and Heide and Cris’ insatiable appetite for a good ol’ on-air blow out, there was no shortage of topics to discuss on this Yom Kippur installment of the Chaos Radio Show.

Alix shared stories of his Hassidic neighbors and their wacky Sabbath mishaps.

Heide discussed her newfound love of ESPN NY radio and we talked some dog fighting. Rhodian is enjoying “The Bronx is Burning,” Patrick from Cringe Humor called in to defend himself against Cris, and Alix’s adoration of Lindsay Lohan made us laugh as we listened to audio of the guys she recently car jacked.

Heide was filling us in on the pukey reason for her absence last week, and it led to a ridiculous fight with Cris over her kid and life experience. As Rhodian likes to say, it’s always something.

A note of caution: taking Mirapex may cure your Restless Leg Syndrome, but it can also lead to increased gambling, sexual, and Chaos listening urges.

Rhodian returned his iPhones and saw Transformers without the rest of us. Once again, a film doesn’t live up to the hype in Rhodian’s opinion.

It looks like Cris is the master debater…first he took on Alix over Eva Mendez’ stardom, and now Rhodian over Francis Ford Coppola’s directing skill.

Heide’s disappointed that the Underdog movie is live action, and Cris decided it would be cool to drag out details of Heide’s teen pregnancy on the air without her pre-approval on the subject. Fun for all.

If you think you might enjoy listening to the sweet sounds of Rhodian crunching Cheerios and gulping Bud Lite, then this show is for you! Well, aside from that, we recalled some audio of Alix’s awesome singing. Heide read an article about the end of free music broadcasting on internet radio, written by a guy everyone hated. But he likes Japanese pop music, so we checked some out.

It’s really good…no…really…

Vaughn from The Aristocrats radio show called in to smooth things over with Heide after she cursed him out viciously. You might expect some kind of confrontation, but unfortunately, Heide proved to be a big pussy and made nice. Then she got fed up with Cris (as usual) and made the mistake of challenging him to fight. The gloves went on and Heide was schooled by Cris once again. Will she ever learn?

Also we didn't get to post last week's show, but here it is: http://chaosradioshow.com/audio/ChaosRadio57.mp3

Yeah, that dirty bitch Heide came back to the studio and what does she do? She gets loaded on gin before the show even STARTS. Rhodian thought she’d be more of a whiskey drinker, but no…obviously it’s the gin that gets Heide going. She turned belligerent and flipped out on Cris, screaming and throwing shit like an animal. Welcome back, Heide.

We had our first call with our Israeli correspondent on the scene in Philadelphia, Daniel Miriom. Keep listening for more of Daniel as we figure out what to do with an Israeli correspondent who refuses to tell holocaust jokes.

Rhodian has a thing for Hayden Panettiere, Heide yearns for Mandy Moore, and we think Alix is just into chicks that show up in the chatroom.

We discussed landscaping as the new most dangerous occupation, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Suzyn Waldman announcing the second coming of Jesus, and unfortunately, stupid-ass radio wars.

PS If you are wondering where the past few shows are, sorry. Some computer programs and Alix's fine computer engineering have chalked those shows up as losses. Should have listened live!

Too bad Rhodian decided to take the night off, because he missed out on a drunk call from none other than Alec Baldwin. We thought Mr. Baldwin might have been upset with us for playing our exclusive audio of his uncensored voicemails last week, but as it turns out, he’s a big fan of Cringe Humor Radio.

Cris and Alix engaged in The Great Eva Mendez Debate. Cringe comedian Mark Anthony Ramirez called and weighed in on the Mendez issue.

Heide recounted the sordid details of the end of her marriage. There was some debate on whether a woman’s most intimate area can look and taste like veal cutlet parmagian. We also discussed the innate dangers of Alix’s MTA job and the recent death of one of his fellow track workers.

Well, everyone made it into the studio for this show, but not quite at their best. By far, the highlight of the night was our exclusive Alec Baldwin audio. Heide even jumped to the defense of Alec, calling into question the character of his selfish little pig of a daughter. Alix thinks Alec is a bully, and not surprisingly, Rhodian loved to hear a female being put in her place.

Unfortunately, the crew also discussed the VA Tech shootings, the media circus, and probably worst of all, the war in Iraq. We even managed to put Cris to sleep.

Heide returned from her Spring Break getaway to New Mexico (which is neither new, nor Mexico) and we celebrated the first anniversary of the Chaos Radio Show.

Since Heide was a bit miffed that she missed seeing boobs in the chatroom while she was away, our devoted fan Christine called in and whipped ‘em out once again, thrilling one and all. She also shared some stories of crazy lesbians and Heide lamely tried to talk her through a sexy scenario. Rhodian, Alix, and Cris all chimed in along the way, but it seemed fairly obvious that Heide’s awkward dorkiness was what got Christine going.

Finally, it was time for the main event…the moment everyone was waiting for…the boxing match between Heide and Cris. Alix was the cameraman, while Rhodian did the play by play. There was a lot of popular support for Heide, as well as some speculation that the fight would end with a TKO in the first 3 seconds. Our girl managed to go almost 2 full rounds before getting dropped. While she writhed and sobbed on the floor, Cris pounded his chest and proclaimed himself the victor.

If you missed this show live, you will definitely want to listen to the podcast. And as a disclaimer, the fight was Heide’s idea, and even though she sobbed like a little bitch, she’s okay.

No Heide again this Friday so the boys made another go at doing it without her, while she soaked up the sun in ol' New Mexico. What was supposed to be a clip show, with some of the best moments of Chaos Radio over the last year turned into a breast filled four hour marathon that was most unexpected.

We couldn't take our eyes off the chat room as one of our loyal listeners showed us her massive double d's as well as her self ass spanking. It was good too considering we had nothing and for the first time we have to say the chat room actually carried the show. Maybe the chat room isn't as bad as we thought.

We also discussed one of Cris' Pug meet up pals getting beat up by her boyfriend, Alix admits his wife used foul ethnic insults in bed and Rhodian comes out about being propositioned at the Lunatic Radio bar night.

Heide showed up this week but for a while there we thought we lost Alix and Rhodian. After what might be described as a brief pre-show segment with Heide and Cris, the guys mercifully joined us.

Rhodian’s disdain for his cats sparked a discussion over whether or not he would make a good dad. Cringe comedian Mark Anthony Ramirez called to defend Rhodian’s potential for good parenting, arguing that they would be the cleanest kids on the planet. This was a point no one could dispute.

Rhodian busted out a copy of the Good Wife’s Guide from Housekeeping Monthly, 1955. Heide read it and the discussion that followed regarding gender roles and the division of household labor completely dominated the rest of the show. Heide’s perspective on the ideal of wife as homemaker would probably piss off the majority of women in the western world, but she didn’t seem to care.

Since Alix was under the false impression that Heide would be a no-show, she decided to surprise him by waiting until the last second before the mics were turned on to enter the studio. To everyone’s surprise, Heide proceeded to drop a bomb regarding the end of her long drought in the lesbian encounter department. The situation became very awkward as she grew less and less willing to divulge any of the juicy details. It seems that she never intended to broach the subject in the first place, but of course her need to disprove the “no-game” theory won out in the end.

We discussed the teenaged girls who performed a portion of “The Vagina Monologues,” at a high school talent show, using the V-word in direct defiance of school officials’ instructions. The general consensus was, if they were willing to accept the disciplinary action taken, then it’s commendable that they took a stand for their feminist beliefs. However the question still remains, why is it so bad to say the word vagina?

Rhodian was shocked to learn that the reason Heide hasn’t been promoting her ping pong ball stunt is that she was planning to do away with it in favor of the boxing match with Cris, scheduled for the anniversary show on April 6th. Alix stands firmly in opposition to the stunt, and Heide said she knows that’s because he’s concerned about her future on American Idol. Cris took that as an excuse to humiliate Heide by making her sing along to several songs, highlighting her lack of singing ability and, of course, riling her anger.

We also discussed the new movie 300, Selma Hayek’s pregnancy, and Heide’s growing disdain for the Asian Persuasion at school.

In a world…where two radio shows collide…there can be only one host. It was Heide, Kieran had to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Rhodian couldn’t make it for this show, so we filled the void with not one, but two very special guests, Kieran and Rockit from Lunatic Radio. Cris had some audio clips ready to compare the meltdowns of Heide and Kieran from their respective shows. The comparisons didn’t end there, though. Cris made sure to point out the “game” that they are each apparently lacking. The two painfully awkward hosts sat side-by-side, unable to overcome the discomfort of sharing a studio and a confined space. You could almost smell the tension.

Heide’s friend Melanie called in to the show to discuss her disdain for Sarah Silverman, but the crew promptly alienated her with racial slurs. Way to go, guys. We didn’t even get her to talk about her boobs, which according to Heide, are legendary.

We celebrated Alix’s birthday by eating cake in front of his diabetes-having-ass. We also gave him Hitch on dvd so he could really enjoy Eva Mendes’ performance again and again.

Finally, if you were in the chatroom live, you would have seen that the new and improved studio setup includes a second cam devoted to Heide. She gave a whole lotta gratuitous cleavage shots, always a crowd pleaser.

While Heide was recounting a bit she loved on fellow Cringe Humor Radio program, the Cousin Joe Show, Cris decided it would be a good time to test out Alix’s new and improved shock device on Rhodian. It was much more effective then the oversized Mr. Wizard looking apparatus from last week, but it seemed to deliver more of a burn than a jolt. Later on Alix tried his invention and described the feeling as if both of his arms were being tightly squeezed and taking a hard punch to the chest. Nothing like homemade torture.

Hiede revealed her psychic ability to bring death on her enemies and Cousin Joe called in to commiserate. She also spoke of handicapped individual and how he was the bane of her existence, which prompted the creation of horny retard Heide.

Everything seemed to take a back seat when we found out that Cris was the double dutch champion two years running at his elementary school. He explained that it was his only way to avoid daily beatings from grade school “schwoogie” thugs.

All that plus we provide some in-depth analysis on some top news stories. From a filthy Long Island house full of piss and shit to the rat infested KFC in Manhattan’s West Village, they sure do rat… errr … chicken right.

In an effort to deter Rhodian from screaming into the microphone, Alix designed an apparatus meant to deliver an electric shock into Rhodian’s hands at the touch of a button. We were all pretty excited about it, and the tension built until we tested it and found out it wasn’t working at all. Oh well, Wile E. Coyote. Back to the ol’ drawing board.

Angry Heide made a spectacular comeback, first ranting about media coverage of Anna Nicole and then recounting a confrontation in the ladies’ room at school. Cris decided it would be a good idea to further rile the anger by taking the other girl’s side. It definitely had an effect, as Heide stuttered some half-assed warning before throwing down her headphones and storming out of the studio.

When she returned, the abuse continued, because of her backing out on her promise to Rissah to join her for the Polar Bear Plunge in New Jersey. She handled the ribbing fine, but seemed to respond by engaging Alix in a vicious dispute over the relevancy of Eva Mendes. We really take on the tough topics here, folks.

Cris announced that shooting would begin for his reality show pilot based on Cringe Humor comedians Colin Quinn, Robert Kelly, Patrice O'Neal, Rich Vos, Bonnie McFarlane and Mark Anthony Ramirez. They’ll be filming footage for that pilot this Wednesday, February 21st at Caroline’s on Broadway. Come down and show your support for Cringe Humor and meet the hosts of some of the new shows on Cringe Humor Radio!

In an effort to deter Rhodian from screaming into the microphone, Alix designed an apparatus meant to deliver an electric shock into Rhodian’s hands at the touch of a button. We were all pretty excited about it, and the tension built until we tested it and found out it wasn’t working at all. Oh well, Wile E. Coyote. Back to the ol’ drawing board.

Angry Heide made a spectacular comeback, first ranting about media coverage of Anna Nicole and then recounting a confrontation in the ladies’ room at school. Cris decided it would be a good idea to further rile the anger by taking the other girl’s side. It definitely had an effect, as Heide stuttered some half-assed warning before throwing down her headphones and storming out of the studio.

When she returned, the abuse continued, because of her backing out on her promise to Rissah to join her for the Polar Bear Plunge in New Jersey. She handled the ribbing fine, but seemed to respond by engaging Alix in a vicious dispute over the relevancy of Eva Mendes. We really take on the tough topics here, folks.

Cris announced that shooting would begin for his reality show pilot based on Cringe Humor comedians Colin Quinn, Robert Kelly, Patrice O'Neal, Rich Vos, Bonnie McFarlane and Mark Anthony Ramirez. They’ll be filming footage for that pilot this Wednesday, February 21st at Caroline’s on Broadway. Come down and show your support for Cringe Humor and meet the hosts of some of the new shows on Cringe Humor Radio!

Heide was full of rage over a run in with two pit bulls and their rude owner that caused this show to open with unusual fury. She seemed to calm down pretty quickly when 2006 Sexiest Blogger of the Year Ilyana Lanai called. The girls seemed to really hit it off talking about 24, sexual harassment, and forays into lesbianism. We all tried to guess what NBA player Ilyana dated, but she wasn’t giving up the goods. The closest we got was the ashy looking Antonio McDyess.

Things got pretty wild as the shots of Lemoncello and vanilla Vodka were poured, and beers knocked down. Heide showed off her knee-hi socks for the camera and did her usual boob squeezing. Angry Heide also expressed her total lack of concern for the passing of Anna Nicole Smith, and sounded off about the difference between funny racial humor and flat out racism.

Finally, our old friend Rissah phoned in to make excuses for not being around for so long. We think it has something to do with having a lot of television to watch. She persuaded Heide to join her in taking a Polar Plunge on February 24th in Seaside Heights, NJ. Heide seemed really agreeable about the idea of putting on a bikini and jumping into icy cold ocean water…at the time. Let’s not forget, she was also well in the bag while agreeing to this proposal…probably thinking more about a bikini-clad Rissah than the freezing cold water. That’s one promise we figure she is less than likely to keep. Too bad, too…cause it would make for one great YouTube video!

Once again Heide proved to have no game. She had two chances in this episode to seduce a woman and even with coaching from Rhodian and Alix, she made her attempts sound more like an instruction manual, but its actually still pretty hot. Two chicks talking to each other in that way does wonders.

Discussions on this edition of Chaos Radio seemed to spiral out of control with the help of a few shots of Jose Cuervo at the show’s start. Tempers flared and voices rose…far too loud…but despite all that we managed to get off quite a few laughs. We debuted Alix’s Brokeback Mountain spoof, Cock Crazy Cris, which featured some very misleading sound bites from our hetero producer.

We heard exclusive, private audio of Patrick from Cringe Humor exercising his foot fetish, and shocking bullshit from Stephen Baldwin about his hardcore, radical approach to Christianity.

Heide made a half-hearted, drunken attempt at tearing into Rachael Ray, as well as drunken attempts at speaking in general. The Rachael Ray topic did prompt a chat room discussion about who in show biz has a stanky pussy. We got comedian Mark Anthony Ramirez on the phone to offer up his opinions on the subject. Heide wound down the show stuttering out something about “I can’t believe you’re all in my ass…”

Alix regaled us with torrid sex stories from his troubled youth, but first we listened to some audio of Gray’s Anatomy’s T.R. Knight discussing the matter of his co-stars Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey’s beef over Washington’s trash-talking. This brought up the question of whether it’s worse to be called a faggot or a nigger. We still think the “n” word is worse.

We uncovered some more details of Alix’s history with married women, and his encounters with their disgruntled husbands. Adultery might be wrong, but as Alix puts it, “the heart wants what the heart wants.” Mmmmm…okay.

Heide put Rhodian on the stand to get to the bottom of exactly what’s going on up on the roof at night. There’s some speculation about whether he’s running illegal cock fights, has carrier pigeon coops, or if it’s just el chupacabra living up there.

The crew also discussed the best and worst things they’ve heard in bed, and of course coaxed Heide into talking dirty with the lights out.

This episode of the Chaos Radio Show has further discussion of the possibility of Heide shooting ping-pong balls from her holiest of holes. That would indeed be an event to top the video of her ass getting pelted with dozens of eggs. You can bet that Rhodian will try to win someone’s soul in the wagering around the launch distance.

An innocent effort to plug our friends on Lunatic Radio turned into a heated debate about Free FM radio personalities, pitting Alix firmly against the rest of the crew. The subject Alix’s adoration of Oprah was resurrected when he admitted to having watched The View and his appreciation for Rosie O’Donnell’s ability to “tell it like it is.”

Heide claims that external input has nothing to do with her masturbation techniques, but is it right that she reached climax to Hitler’s face on the television? We suggest the answer is no. But we did confirm that she does indeed have “ball-savvy,” and Alix revealed his appreciation for having his balls yanked during a blow job.

Yes, folks, to start off the New Year propuh, our original co-host Alix made his big comeback to the show. Seems that through his trials with “The Big D” and a Christmas Day car accident, Alix has become absolutely convinced that Death is stalking him.

Once he was done getting all deep on us, we got him to tell a story about some chick peeing in his mouth while he was going down on her. Which leads to another tale in Heide’s attempt at lesbianism.

Yeah…that’s the good stuff.

Heide debuted a new movie trivia segment, with questions about Star Wars Episode IV. She also attempted to recount the details of a lesbian encounter, but as usual, she blew it. We discussed the best sex scenes from movies, and beat on Cris relentlessly for watching Broke Back Mountain by himself. Don’t miss the first show of 2007 with the whole Chaos crew together again.

We ended our 2006 run with Bizarro (or is he Alex now) in studio, and some new bits. Alix (our original co-host) announced his impending return to the show in 2007. He made it sound like he’s going to knock everyone’s socks off, too. Heide is considering trying the ping-pong ball trick, and Rhodian may be willing to put money on those skills. Who knows, we may come back in 2007 with a contest on who can shoot the ping-pong ball further using only her most intimate of muscles? We may have trouble finding a second girl to compete against Heide, but surely we can find a way to make it worth her while.

Heide shared the details of her naked encounters with her best childhood friend, and at age eight, being forced to make out with a seven year-old boy by his older sister, and her irrational fear of blue vans. Creepy much? Rhodian and Cris practiced their hypnotherapy skills, all of which involved desecration of their client. If Cris gets his way, next week may bring a solo Rhodian show. Rhodian is bargaining for Cris’ soul, and the boys end the show with a lot of trademark Chaos Radio screaming over the terms and conditions of the agreement.

Oh, and there was a show last week, too. We just got lazy about writing up a summary and posting the shit, but here ya go. Brent was in studio. He told us about his father’s unique punishment methods involving carpentry tools, and how he broke the news of his teenaged fatherhood to his parents. It’s a gem, and if you haven’t heard the show, you must.

http://chaosradioshow.com/audio/ChaosRadio30.mp3

What the hell is happening to us? Damian definitely added a fresh voice to the program, but Rhodian seems to be going soft on us, Heide just has nothing interesting to say, and Cris seemed to dominate the mic. Eh, what are you gonna do? Sometimes the show just takes on a life of its own. Cris got all misty remembering all his Transformer and GI Joe toys that his mother had the gall to throw out because she needed to “paint the inside of the closet.” Cris also told another tale of the infamous Pete the Hook, this one involving a machete-wielding crackhead! Oh, the adventures of the zeppoli maker!

We briefly debated the importance of tipping the bathroom attendant and the hotness of Kirstie Alley. The subject of the PS3 craze came up, and that led us to reminisce about the days of Atari and the Commodore 64. Rhodian revealed his softness when it comes to lil’ baby kittens, Heide admitted to being proud of the WWII Blitzkrieg(Another step to proving she really is a nazi), and Damian promoted his upcoming kick ass party and his newly formed P.R. company, JD Relations. If anyone wants to know more about it feel free to email him at JD_Relations@yahoo.com.

We kicked off our first show on Cringe Radio with a bang. Heide made good on the consequences of losing the Asian Midget bet by taking 40 eggs to the ass live on the air. Rissah and Bizarro were in-studio for the big event, with Riss doing a fabulous job of commentating on the festivities.

Topics of discussion were the Alabama-mom-rapist, guidelines for a successful threesome (according to the ladies), and the pros and cons of anal sex. We also promoted this upcoming weekend’s NYC comedy shows including the Cris' charity Comedy Show at Gotham Comedy Club from 7-9 on Sunday, November 12th, followed by the Cringe Humor Awards at Caroline’s on Broadway from 10-12.

To christen the new chat room which features live webcam coverage of the show, Rissah and Heide gave each other a spanking and we threw in a boob squeeze as well.

You didn't think we'd pull a stuent like this without some video here are some links if you missed the show live.

Egg Tossing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA9oRUCrRy4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9lRd9tFDV4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg84O4bwGS8

Ass Spanking:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAeBR_Sl8x4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqpgBj2hVQc

In the studio for this week’s show was Alix’s good friend/arch-enemy, Bizarro (aka the other Alex). He shared his own helpful anal sex tip, V05 strawberry conditioner is great for lubrication. Apparently it makes everything very soft.

The grace period on the pinky bet ended this week as Heide admitted defeat. The Asian midget girl video was not produced, so Rhodian triumphed. He gave Heide three loser-punishments to choose from. Her first option was to add to his collection of souls and sign hers over. Because she knows how soul-thirsty Rhodian is, Heide decided to hang on to hers. She figures it may come in handy as a bargaining chip in the future.

The second option was for her to wear the Princess Leia slave costume from Return of the Jedi throughout an entire broadcast. Seemed like a pretty painless option, if not a little boring. The third option was for Rhodian, Cris, and whoever else shows up to get a dozen eggs each to hurl at her. After some hemming and hawing, Heide realized that the egging would make for an excellent video and decided to go for it.

Cris played audio of a bitch getting slapped in the face from his favorite show "Crime Story", and Rissah called in to back up a man’s right to slap a woman when she deserves it. She also asked to be involved in the egging extravaganza and we actually planned the event around her schedule. November 4th is the date set so be sure to check back for video. Bizarro came up with the brilliant idea that Rissah have the job of hosing the egg off Heide’s ass. Both girls agreed enthusiastically to this suggestion. Yay.

We also called a midget stripper service and discovered that, should we decide we need one 2 weeks from now, for $750, we can get a lil’ gal to come strip for us for 15 minutes and then hang out for a while. Hmm…something to consider.

Finally another call from our long lost buddy, Alix as he reveals yet another exhausting week at his new job. Don't miss out the insanity and hilarity on this week's episode.

Alix was with us only in spirit (except for a couple of call-ins from his new job), so Heide and Rhodian had their work cut out for them. They made do with some help from Cris who told the tale of Pete the Hook, the famous zeppoli maker from Queens. Cris was also intent upon outing Heide as the Jew-hating Nazi he believes she is.

Rhodian and Heide renegotiated the terms of their pinky bet over Heide producing video proof of her Asian midget sighting. Heide gets a one-week extension, but after that her time is up. If she doesn’t have that video by next Saturday, she’ll have to make good and give in to whatever evil punishment Rhodian decides upon as his winnings. That alone is worth listening to next week’s show for.

We interviewed Heide’s high school buddy, actor Andrew Cassese (a.k.a. Wormser from Revenge of the Nerds). Andrew talked about his latest gig as the face of Bertolli frozen dinners (“so good, chefs don’t want you to know about them”), his thoughts on the remake of Revenge of the Nerds, and fond memories of Heide and the old days in their Albuquerque drug den.

Heide announced 2 of her top 5 “girls-she’d-like-to-bang,” Poppy Montgomery and Kelly Monaco. She tried to stutter out a lesbian fantasy that went absolutely nowhere, and argued about gay bars being better than straight bars for two girls to make out in. For some reason, Rhodian kept whispering “Shehata” into the mic, so friend of the show, comedian Maria Shehata did us the favor of calling in. If you love to hear hot girls talk about making out with other hot girls, you can’t miss this volume of The Chaos Radio Show.

Heide and Alix were happy to have Rhodian back in studio, but Alix was even happier because Rhodian showed up with a big ol’ jug of his favorite beverage, Carlo Rossi Chablis. Maybe the kids should hit up the wine makers for a sponsorship? This show hearkens back to the earlier days when the show was truly chaotic, jumping from one ridiculous topic to the next without resolution or even much sense. That’ll happen when the hosts are out of their gourds on cheap white wine.

In this week’s show you might pick out these bits from the madness: Heide and Alix discussed Flavor Flav’s “Flavor of Love” and how Heide wishes she had a bubble butt; Rhodian and Heide do a little role-playing of hot librarian helping a shy, young, male patron to see if she’s making a wise career choice; “Fantastic Four” and director Tim Story got picked apart and torn to shreds.

Heide causes a stir with the claim that she spotted an Asian midget on her college campus and Rhodian challenges her to produce a picture. They pinky bet on it, so be sure to listen next week to see if Heide comes through with the proof! For now, pour yourself a solo cup of jug wine and settle in for the original chaos threesome.

We were back in black, but down one man, as Rhodian seemed to have blown us off this week. We can only surmise that he must be dead, since he didn’t call or anything. Perhaps he will return as a zombie next week. Only time will tell. It could actually be part of a bigger issue, since the station owner, Marc (aka Mango), has been MIA for a few weeks now. The conspiracy theories are brewing, folks. In spite of this, we forged ahead into some general ethnic bashing. Cris decried the stupidity of all things Italian-American, and Heide talked about the anti-Nazi sentiments hurled at her family by a passing Jew at the German-American parade in NYC.

We took a call from Patrick of CringeHumor.net who gave us his personal take on the comedy scene, who’s legit, and who’s just awful. We also tried to give him some advice on how to get his bi-sexual girlfriend to agree to a threesome, and Alix got him to admit that he would be gay for Colin Quinn. We ask such probing questions.

We debated over the authenticity of Baby Suri, and discussed the issue of female child-abandonment in China. Alix was exposed for wearing ladies’ underwear, and by the end of the show, Heide finally just got so hot and bothered that she had to strip down to her bra and panties.

Chaos Radio now has its very own hotline, and it's not just for voicemail, kids! Our first ever call-in guest was Halftooth recording artist Kenn Starr. Kenn promoted his long-anticipated album "Starr Status," and shared his personal insights about the industry, as well as his own experiences rapping since the age of ten. For all those looking for something fresh. Support Kenn and his new album. You can purchase his CD at www.halftooth.com. Or check him out at myspace.com/kennstarr.
Alix made the dreadful mistake of calling Oasis and Bush "gay" bands, which opened his musical taste up to harsh criticism. Considering that he frequently sites Kelly Clarkson as one of his favorites, it was an
entertaining debate.
Heide professed her hatred for all things Jessica Simpson and her disappointment at having had to sit through a Sheryl Crow concert. She also bemoaned her daughter's unfortunate run-in with hardcore porn on
the internet.
Finally, Alix told the story of his broken bone. THE BONE...the one you never ever ever want to break! Hear all the juicy details, including how he peed blood afterwards. YIKES.
For perhaps one of our cringe-worthiest moments ever, download the show here.

In the wake of last week’s Carlo Rossi Spectacular, the Chaos crew made a valiant attempt at delivering an entertaining show, and thanks to comedian Joe DeRosa, they managed to pull through. Heide talked about the conversation she overheard in Target about the black cashier’s black father not allowing her to date black guys. That got Alix talking about the racism he faced from his late father-in-law, and Rhodian’s response to the topic was to pose the question, “would you rather have a son who’s gay, or a daughter who is the biggest whore on the block?” Easy to see the thought progression there.
Joe DeRosa responded to the question by saying he would definitely rather have a gay son, as long as he was getting plenty of gay ass. Good answer. Joe actually had lots of good answers. He even volunteered his opinion on Star Wars Episodes I, II, & III, a subject near and dear to the show. We also discussed Joe’s rap duo Deep, which was recently cut from Showtime’s “Whiteboyz in the Hood” show. So…fuck Showtime!
There was other guest planned, Marissa the pre-op-transgender-transsexual, but “she” was unexpectedly called into work. That’s a gem for another show.
The show came to a screeching close with Heide and Alix reconciling their argument during the past week over Alix’s instant message, “so, looks like we’re losing Pluto as a planet.” Apparently that statement alone was enough to push Heide over the edge. Who knew it was such a sore subject for her? But don’t worry, she apologized, and the kids kissed and made up.
Check out the show, feel the love.

Past experience has taught the Chaos crew that Alix and Carlo Rossi Chablis are a volatile combination. Alix can toss down a 6 pack of beer and not feel a thing, but give him half a gallon of cheap white wine and there’s no telling how crazy things can get. Listen to this show, and see if you can tell when the wrecking ball (dubbed Carlos Rossi by Rissah) hits Alix. He’s with us one minute, and then all of a sudden…CHAOS.

The real highlight of this volume of Chaos Radio is the reading of email transcripts between Heide and some southern dude who wants desperately to bang his teenaged sister. Yes, you read that right…he wants to bang his sister! Not only does he admit to it, he describes in vivid detail exactly how he would violate her. Cris and Alix do their best to immitate the southern perv. It’s a must-listen.

We had a surprise in-studio guest, Bizarro (Alix's arch-enemy and close friend), who joined in on a wild Skype call to the always-witty and hilarious Rissah. For those of you who haven't heard about Bizarro, he earned his name because he and Alix share the same first and last name and are not related.

After overcoming some technical difficulties, Rhodian presented each of us with our very own Samurai sword!

You don’t want to miss out on what may very well be the most chaotic volume of the Chaos Radio Show.

So we did some good this Saturday. Participated in a Radio-A-thon for charity and actually felt good doing it. Mango Radio was the official radio station for this year’s blog-A-thon and we had a fun time with it. We want to thank Mango Radio for picking Unlocking Autism as the charity of choice. They could have picked any charity they wanted, but we’re glad they picked Unlocking Autism, because we had a chance to interview Shelley Hendrix Reynolds, who serves as the organization’s president.
While the topic of autism is serious, the Chaos Crew kept the interview light, and Shelley fit right in. From bashing President George W. Bush to punching ponies to cure autism, they discussed it all.
About the only thing the show was missing was the normal filthy sex talk that everyone is used to, but they couldn't help themselves. The last half hour is dedicated to the loyal listeners who tune in for what’s become the norm. We didn't forget about you sex addicted freaks.
But the night belonged to raising money and awareness for autism. Mango hasn't released the official numbers yet, but for those of you who will be downloading the show there is still a chance to donate by going to www.mangoradio.net/autism or by logging onto www.unlockingautism.org. Thanks to all of you that supported us and the station and all of you that did donate.
Shelley's message was clear, even a dollar helps them towards helping others.

This week’s show was thought-provoking, insightful, and dealt with the bigger issues in our world today…degrading sex-acts, pornography, prince albert piercings, are Carrie-Anne Moss’ breasts real and an inside look into what really goes on in the gynecologist’s office. Heide revealed a traumatizing tale of teenage molestation that may baffle you.
Actually, the show wasn’t ALL about sex (though it’s probably as close as the show has come to staying on the topic for three hours straight). Alix pondered a moral dilemma in the workplace and…yeah, that’s about it for the non-sex part. We also debuted Alix’s newest bit, “Wingman in a Can.”

So we’ve learned now that there are two ways to silence Alix, stick Chinese food in his mouth and book comedian Pat Dixon on the show. The exchange was hilarious. Pat’s sarcasm might have worked with Alix and Rhodian, but that didn’t stop Heide. The two hit it off quite well and promised to exchange emails. “You sure are a looker,” Heide says before the interview comes to an end. Who knows what comes of this.

Also on the show Alix gets trapped in the Chaos Radio studio bathroom. Cris saves the day. Our publicist Rissah makes an appearance to review porn. She reveals that Alix has been sending her hardcore porn through email for some time now. Listen in as Alix, Heide and Rhodian describe the scene chaos style.

Finally the crew announced plans to do a four hour show for charity. Mango Radio will be the official radio station for this year’s blogathon, which will take place on Saturday, July 29. Mango’s charity of choice is Unlocking Autism. For more information log onto www.mangoradio.net/autism.

Rhodian took a girl on their first date to "The Passion of the Christ." (Which is kind of like taking someone to a funeral on the first date.) Eventually, he started re-thinking his gameplan. "Jesus totally got his that night, but I looked over at her crying and thought maybe it wasn't the greatest idea. Lucifer was cool as shit though." Heide also discusses her residual guilt from leaving the Lutheran Church, while Rhodian and Alix made sympathy noises to cover up the fact that they were really picturing Heide in a Catholic School girl uniform.
The crew also recounts their Friday night field trip to Palisades Park, to see Superman Returns in 3D IMAX. Where they made a new friend named Isaac B, more commonly known as "Random Theatre Usher #3." Incidentally, Rhodian is going to train Alix's kid to be an assassin. (A lucrative career, as long as one has a steady hand and is good with faces.)
Right about now, a few people may be wondering if there was any serious discussion. Um, NO. What are you doing here if you're looking for serious discussion. That's like looking for a blowjob at a convent. There was however, a phone interview with the lovely and talented comedian Maria Shehata during which she surprisingly didn't hang up and go running for the hills.
And an evening at the Chaos Wastes studios is never an evening without an Alix story. Alix stories are... unlike most others. This time he recounts his adventures with "Chinese Louis" and did you know that emergency rooms are required to report all bullet wounds? Alix does, courtesy of Chinese Louis. Which is why you should never, ever, ever ever ever touch an Asian man's General Tso's Chicken. Bullets will fly.

If human drama excites, enthralls, and entertains you, then this thirteenth week of Chaos Radio is right up your alley. Listen and cringe as the crew dissects Alix’s solo show from the prior week bit-by-Oprah-loving-bit! Rhodian nobly tried to referee as Cris and Heide bombarded Alix with repudiations of his rants and relentless mockery. Alix insisted that his going solo was the right thing to do despite the rest of us discouraging the idea. In his indignation he also accused Cris of setting him up for failure and ridicule. Tempers flared, voices rose, and egos bruised, but it all worked out in the end as we presented Rhodian with smokes and explosives for his birthday.

We've always thought that Heide was prone to reveal things about herself that she would later regret, but on Chaos Radio Show Vol. 10 Alix was feeling it.

Alix admits to banging his friend's mom and then doubling up on said mom with his friend's dad. You heard me right. The Chaos Radio Show has now gone into DP mode. So now that Alix is the new master of confession, what kind of reaction will the rest of the crew have to his candid honesty? Find out in this week's edition.

Also on the show, the crew interviews Star/Producer Stephen Asaro of the upcoming short film "Blood Money." Go the www.chaosradioshow.com to get more info on Stephen and his project which is a candidate for the Gotham City International Film Festival.

I'm not sure. But it sure sounded like it.

Technical difficulties galore.

First, the internet connection went down. Which caused all the settings to be reset, which then caused it to mess with the Khemystri interview, which then led to frustration, which then led to a bitch fest between Alix, Heide and Cris, which then led to an hour and a half past the show’s normal ending time, which might lead to the end of the show.

Have no fear though, there was indeed a show. If you don’t mind a really loud podcast then you are fine. But then again it had to be set at a higher volume than usual otherwise you would never be able to hear the Khemystri interview. Have your fingers ready on the volume button.

A big thank you to Khemystri and Mango who both came on the show and had to deal with our technical issues. They were patient and understanding. So without further warning, enjoy the sixth and possibly the last installment of the Chaos Radio Show.

Chaos Radio Show Vol. 6

Oh yeah and there was a Pre show.

Chaos Radio Pre-Show Vol. 5

The fourth installment of The Chaos Radio Show included discussion about @lix’s man-sensitivity, further tales of Heide’s zombie terrors, ghost stories, and her first girl-crush in the fourth grade.

Rhodian gives tips on how to pull a girl’s hair and we managed to talk even more about ass-play. Heide wraps up the show with a truly disgusting story about her early misconceptions about the sex act.

Chaos Radio Show Vol. 4

Heide’s first solo mission for the pre-chaos show was a lil’ bumpy, but it all worked out with Cris’ last minute fix-it phone calls from L.A. Aside from inadvertently broadcasting herself talking on the phone, playing “Bring tha Noise” really loud over herself speaking, naming a Cake song she didn’t play, and leaving messenger programs running so everyone could hear her buddies comings and goings, eh…not too shabby.
It was all for the greater good of prepping for the real deal, anyway.

Chaos Radio Show Pre-Show Vol. 4

Zombies, Zombies, Zombies. Heide discusses her fear of Zombies and Rhodian describes how he'd hack the mo fuckas up. Meanwhile @lix believes that paralizing fear would render him to punk out.

Also the crew discusses red heads, @lix's alcohol consumption and resident "internet tough guy" Cris has a run in with a letter carrier/box picker upper. The story leads into memories of his "prison days" at a mail sorting warehouse.

Plus Heide dreams of Dave McAwesome and ChaosWastes.com's Malfouka. All that in this week's edition of The Chaos Radio Show on Mango Radio!

Chaos Radio Show Vol. 3

Catch the Pre-show with Cris as he reveals how prep for the show just gets worse each week.

Chaos Radio Pre-Show Vol. 3