Chaos Radio Show

Two Stupid Texans

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:36:01 GMT

Between Roger Clemens and George W. Bush, we had enough idiotic quotes to choke a dairy cow on this week’s show. Listen and learn, Heide prefers cum and sand on the face over sand in the vag. She claimed to be in a fine mood, but Rhodian knew with a little prodding he could get some rage out of her. The subject of her hissy-fit at the Comedy Shoppe show came up and she had to eat some deliciously sautéed crow. Mark Hamill is okay with Heath Ledger playing Joker in the Dark Knight, and so is Rhodian. The next question is, who’s going to be the next Superman in the Justice League movie? Hopefully Rhodian will like him better than Brandon Routh. Right now all he really cares about is the new Rambo movie coming out this month. We discussed the new biography of Tom Cruise and debated whether it holds any water. We talked about the effects of the writer’s strike on television programs, especially the weird-ass People’s Choice Awards. Late night television takes a dive, with Letterman hitting rock bottom.There was some debate over the hotness of redheads. Heide turns her no-game-having nose up at them.

(Radio) War is Senseless

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 06:47:44 GMT

If you enjoy listening to trainwrecks, then this is the Chaos Radio Show for you. Speaking of trainwrecks, we discussed the teen pregnancy of Miss Jamie Lynn Spears and speculation about the baby daddy. Rockit from the LunaticRadio.com Show joined us after the first break. We spoke to our Israeli correspondent in Philadelphia who to us naughty words in Hebrew. Cringe Humor comedian Josh Goguen called in to the show to say hi and plug his appearance at the Comedy Shoppe with Patrice Oneal. Rockit convinced Rhodian to cross over to the Lunatic side, promising Cheerios and Jack Daniels. Radio war? What radio war? Oh yeah, and we let Cris sneak in a few sports stories: Jim Leyritz’s $600 a night drinking habit, and Isiah Thomas’ promising an NBA championship NEXT SEASON. Cris tried to get a good radio bet going with Rhodian, but Rho had had a little too much of what he was affectionately referring to as “John Daniels” to negotiate anything. Maybe when you can’t pronounce the name of the booze you’re drinkin’…it’s time to slow down.

We’re back. (Seriously)

Chaos Radio Show — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 07:05:42 GMT

We’re not kidding this time. Chaos Radio is really back online. Heide, Rhodian, and producer Cris have returned, in all of their foul-mouthed, ball busting glory. We covered the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, with some exclusive audio that may suggest Hannah Montana is responsible for the former Pakistani Prime Minister’s death. Heide bragged about getting her degree and talked about the hot chicks in her WWII simulation class. We blame the victims of the San Francisco tiger attack for their own misfortune. Heide and the boys get in a pointless gender role argument. We also disproved a recent study that says singing birds can make you horny. Turns out canaries aren’t sexy after all. Stand up comedian and Cringe Humor Radio host, Jeremy Schachter, called in to discuss the end of Court tv and its new incarnation as Tru tv. Rhodian managed to get some digs in on Jeremy’s boss Starr Jones during the call. You should check out Jeremy’s website, www.standupjeremy.com to find out all the up and comer is up to. Cris had a great story about his unpleasant run-in with a NYC cabbie this week, and we called his buddy Brent to back him up. Then Rhodian and Heide barely let Cris squeeze in a few sports stories before things degenerated into nonsense. By this time in the show, Rhodian’s nasty Jack Daniels and cranberry juice cocktail had him pretty well in the bag, so things got a little loud. Hear Rhodian’s excitement about the new Rambo flick coming out in January, and exclusive audio of Queen Elizabeth’s latest television address and Pope Palpatine, er…Benedict at midnight xmas mass. Check out our last show of 2007 and the grand reopening of the Chaos Radio Show studio.

Radio War over, We Win! Heide craps on herself again.

Chaos Radio Show — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:44:49 GMT

Heide discussed her rendezvous across enemy lines, how she jinxed herself by telling a pant-crapping story, and Cris declares Lunatic Radio the losers of the Radio War. Heide’s story inspired Alix, Rhodian, and Cris to share their own urgent poop stories. We heard audio about Michael Vick jerseys being used to clean out dog kennels as details are released about his part in executing innocent lil’ doggies. Cris searched the internet for Herve Villechaize’s artsy black and white porno, but only came up with a ponderous video of one of the late little-man’s live singing performances. We invited our listeners to send fan mail to that wacky guy, Jonathan Lee Riches, who is currently bringing lawsuits against Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Bud Selig…and Hank Aaron’s bat. Alix’s arch-nemesis, Bizarro, called in just to annoy Al. A smelly burping bum tries to hitch a ride with Rhodian, and Cris talks about his intolerance for homosexuality, pissing Heide off, as usual.

RADIO WAR!

Chaos Radio Show — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 14:04:01 GMT

So the Radio War continues. Heide was mysteriously absent and we have to wonder if it had something to do with LunaticRadio.com's rant about us last Monday. Of course we don't take kindly to ridicule, so brace yourself for Rhodian's grunts of anger and requests for blood. We tried to do something that resembles a radio show, but we just couldn't get past the RADIO WAR. We reviewed audio of Lunatic Radio's tirade and figured out that they are contradicting themselves. If they are a live internet radio talk show, why do they want to win a podcast award so bad? We break down their pathetic attempt to be recognized by a phony award show. We also touch on Barry Bonds breaking the homerun record, but Alix and Rhodian were too distracted by random boobs and ass in the chat room. By the way, not on this show is the 3 hours of additional time we did after the show was over. You really have to start listening to the show live if you want to get the whole chaos experience. Boobs and ass flooded our webcam chat room. Be there next Friday as this Radio War continues and maybe Heide will back.

Chaos and Cockfights

Chaos Radio Show — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 03:28:41 GMT

Heide bemoaned losing her best friend and having her dog die all in the same week, but Cris managed to take all the dignity out of her grieving process. We interviewed Jason Atkins, President of www.toughsportslive.com, a badass website which features live underground fights from Brazil, hot chicks in bikinis firing machine guns in slow motion, and the focus of this show, live cock fights from San Juan, Puerto Rico. We get Jason’s very interesting perspective on the differences between cock fighting and dog fighting. We also played audio of Mets first baseman Carlos Delgado endorsing cock fighting and accepting a donation to his charity from the cock fight promoter. We got some laughs listening to Joey Paulino’s tearful exit interview on Bravo’s reality show Top Chef, in which he not only emotionally fell apart but also lambasted guest judge Rocco DiSpirito. Finally, no one would have thought it could happen, but Chaos Radio announced its beef with fellow Cringe Humor Radio show, Lunatic Radio, which can be heard Monday nights at 9pm. Lunatic’s host Kieran called in to defend their decision to compete against a bunch of lame-ass podcasts to win the best comedy podcast award. Check it out as we start shit and make the listeners uncomfortable.

Shabbat Shalom and Good Chaos

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 08:44:30 GMT

Between Lindsay Lohan, Michael Vick, and Heide and Cris’ insatiable appetite for a good ol’ on-air blow out, there was no shortage of topics to discuss on this Yom Kippur installment of the Chaos Radio Show. Alix shared stories of his Hassidic neighbors and their wacky Sabbath mishaps. Heide discussed her newfound love of ESPN NY radio and we talked some dog fighting. Rhodian is enjoying “The Bronx is Burning,” Patrick from Cringe Humor called in to defend himself against Cris, and Alix’s adoration of Lindsay Lohan made us laugh as we listened to audio of the guys she recently car jacked. Heide was filling us in on the pukey reason for her absence last week, and it led to a ridiculous fight with Cris over her kid and life experience. As Rhodian likes to say, it’s always something. A note of caution: taking Mirapex may cure your Restless Leg Syndrome, but it can also lead to increased gambling, sexual, and Chaos listening urges.

Heide's Prom Night Dumpster Baby

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 08:10:09 GMT

Rhodian returned his iPhones and saw Transformers without the rest of us. Once again, a film doesn’t live up to the hype in Rhodian’s opinion. It looks like Cris is the master debater…first he took on Alix over Eva Mendez’ stardom, and now Rhodian over Francis Ford Coppola’s directing skill. Heide’s disappointed that the Underdog movie is live action, and Cris decided it would be cool to drag out details of Heide’s teen pregnancy on the air without her pre-approval on the subject. Fun for all.

Friday Night Chaos Fights Rematch

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 04:52:17 GMT

If you think you might enjoy listening to the sweet sounds of Rhodian crunching Cheerios and gulping Bud Lite, then this show is for you! Well, aside from that, we recalled some audio of Alix’s awesome singing. Heide read an article about the end of free music broadcasting on internet radio, written by a guy everyone hated. But he likes Japanese pop music, so we checked some out. It’s really good…no…really… Vaughn from The Aristocrats radio show called in to smooth things over with Heide after she cursed him out viciously. You might expect some kind of confrontation, but unfortunately, Heide proved to be a big pussy and made nice. Then she got fed up with Cris (as usual) and made the mistake of challenging him to fight. The gloves went on and Heide was schooled by Cris once again. Will she ever learn? Also we didn't get to post last week's show, but here it is: http://chaosradioshow.com/audio/ChaosRadio57.mp3

Heide Finally Shows Up

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:34:52 GMT

Yeah, that dirty bitch Heide came back to the studio and what does she do? She gets loaded on gin before the show even STARTS. Rhodian thought she’d be more of a whiskey drinker, but no…obviously it’s the gin that gets Heide going. She turned belligerent and flipped out on Cris, screaming and throwing shit like an animal. Welcome back, Heide. We had our first call with our Israeli correspondent on the scene in Philadelphia, Daniel Miriom. Keep listening for more of Daniel as we figure out what to do with an Israeli correspondent who refuses to tell holocaust jokes. Rhodian has a thing for Hayden Panettiere, Heide yearns for Mandy Moore, and we think Alix is just into chicks that show up in the chatroom. We discussed landscaping as the new most dangerous occupation, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Suzyn Waldman announcing the second coming of Jesus, and unfortunately, stupid-ass radio wars. PS If you are wondering where the past few shows are, sorry. Some computer programs and Alix's fine computer engineering have chalked those shows up as losses. Should have listened live!

Alec Baldwin Has Our Number

Chaos Radio Show — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:39:24 GMT

Too bad Rhodian decided to take the night off, because he missed out on a drunk call from none other than Alec Baldwin. We thought Mr. Baldwin might have been upset with us for playing our exclusive audio of his uncensored voicemails last week, but as it turns out, he’s a big fan of Cringe Humor Radio. Cris and Alix engaged in The Great Eva Mendez Debate. Cringe comedian Mark Anthony Ramirez called and weighed in on the Mendez issue. Heide recounted the sordid details of the end of her marriage. There was some debate on whether a woman’s most intimate area can look and taste like veal cutlet parmagian. We also discussed the innate dangers of Alix’s MTA job and the recent death of one of his fellow track workers.

New Exclusive phone calls from Alec Baldwin

Chaos Radio Show — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 13:55:01 GMT

Well, everyone made it into the studio for this show, but not quite at their best. By far, the highlight of the night was our exclusive Alec Baldwin audio. Heide even jumped to the defense of Alec, calling into question the character of his selfish little pig of a daughter. Alix thinks Alec is a bully, and not surprisingly, Rhodian loved to hear a female being put in her place. Unfortunately, the crew also discussed the VA Tech shootings, the media circus, and probably worst of all, the war in Iraq. We even managed to put Cris to sleep.

Cris Will Eat Your Children

Chaos Radio Show — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 03:33:05 GMT

Heide returned from her Spring Break getaway to New Mexico (which is neither new, nor Mexico) and we celebrated the first anniversary of the Chaos Radio Show. Since Heide was a bit miffed that she missed seeing boobs in the chatroom while she was away, our devoted fan Christine called in and whipped ‘em out once again, thrilling one and all. She also shared some stories of crazy lesbians and Heide lamely tried to talk her through a sexy scenario. Rhodian, Alix, and Cris all chimed in along the way, but it seemed fairly obvious that Heide’s awkward dorkiness was what got Christine going. Finally, it was time for the main event…the moment everyone was waiting for…the boxing match between Heide and Cris. Alix was the cameraman, while Rhodian did the play by play. There was a lot of popular support for Heide, as well as some speculation that the fight would end with a TKO in the first 3 seconds. Our girl managed to go almost 2 full rounds before getting dropped. While she writhed and sobbed on the floor, Cris pounded his chest and proclaimed himself the victor. If you missed this show live, you will definitely want to listen to the podcast. And as a disclaimer, the fight was Heide’s idea, and even though she sobbed like a little bitch, she’s okay.

Spanks for the Mamories

Chaos Radio Show — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 00:29:16 GMT

No Heide again this Friday so the boys made another go at doing it without her, while she soaked up the sun in ol' New Mexico. What was supposed to be a clip show, with some of the best moments of Chaos Radio over the last year turned into a breast filled four hour marathon that was most unexpected. We couldn't take our eyes off the chat room as one of our loyal listeners showed us her massive double d's as well as her self ass spanking. It was good too considering we had nothing and for the first time we have to say the chat room actually carried the show. Maybe the chat room isn't as bad as we thought. We also discussed one of Cris' Pug meet up pals getting beat up by her boyfriend, Alix admits his wife used foul ethnic insults in bed and Rhodian comes out about being propositioned at the Lunatic Radio bar night.

A Good Wife Always Knows Her Place

Chaos Radio Show — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 05:46:59 GMT

Heide showed up this week but for a while there we thought we lost Alix and Rhodian. After what might be described as a brief pre-show segment with Heide and Cris, the guys mercifully joined us. Rhodian’s disdain for his cats sparked a discussion over whether or not he would make a good dad. Cringe comedian Mark Anthony Ramirez called to defend Rhodian’s potential for good parenting, arguing that they would be the cleanest kids on the planet. This was a point no one could dispute. Rhodian busted out a copy of the Good Wife’s Guide from Housekeeping Monthly, 1955. Heide read it and the discussion that followed regarding gender roles and the division of household labor completely dominated the rest of the show. Heide’s perspective on the ideal of wife as homemaker would probably piss off the majority of women in the western world, but she didn’t seem to care.

Heide's Lesbian Comeback ... or not

Chaos Radio Show — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 05:57:04 GMT

Since Alix was under the false impression that Heide would be a no-show, she decided to surprise him by waiting until the last second before the mics were turned on to enter the studio. To everyone’s surprise, Heide proceeded to drop a bomb regarding the end of her long drought in the lesbian encounter department. The situation became very awkward as she grew less and less willing to divulge any of the juicy details. It seems that she never intended to broach the subject in the first place, but of course her need to disprove the “no-game” theory won out in the end. We discussed the teenaged girls who performed a portion of “The Vagina Monologues,” at a high school talent show, using the V-word in direct defiance of school officials’ instructions. The general consensus was, if they were willing to accept the disciplinary action taken, then it’s commendable that they took a stand for their feminist beliefs. However the question still remains, why is it so bad to say the word vagina? Rhodian was shocked to learn that the reason Heide hasn’t been promoting her ping pong ball stunt is that she was planning to do away with it in favor of the boxing match with Cris, scheduled for the anniversary show on April 6th. Alix stands firmly in opposition to the stunt, and Heide said she knows that’s because he’s concerned about her future on American Idol. Cris took that as an excuse to humiliate Heide by making her sing along to several songs, highlighting her lack of singing ability and, of course, riling her anger. We also discussed the new movie 300, Selma Hayek’s pregnancy, and Heide’s growing disdain for the Asian Persuasion at school.

Lunatics Get With the Chaos

Chaos Radio Show — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 09:00:11 GMT

In a world…where two radio shows collide…there can be only one host. It was Heide, Kieran had to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Rhodian couldn’t make it for this show, so we filled the void with not one, but two very special guests, Kieran and Rockit from Lunatic Radio. Cris had some audio clips ready to compare the meltdowns of Heide and Kieran from their respective shows. The comparisons didn’t end there, though. Cris made sure to point out the “game” that they are each apparently lacking. The two painfully awkward hosts sat side-by-side, unable to overcome the discomfort of sharing a studio and a confined space. You could almost smell the tension. Heide’s friend Melanie called in to the show to discuss her disdain for Sarah Silverman, but the crew promptly alienated her with racial slurs. Way to go, guys. We didn’t even get her to talk about her boobs, which according to Heide, are legendary. We celebrated Alix’s birthday by eating cake in front of his diabetes-having-ass. We also gave him Hitch on dvd so he could really enjoy Eva Mendes’ performance again and again. Finally, if you were in the chatroom live, you would have seen that the new and improved studio setup includes a second cam devoted to Heide. She gave a whole lotta gratuitous cleavage shots, always a crowd pleaser.

Introducing the Flux Capacitor

Chaos Radio Show — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 09:53:10 GMT

While Heide was recounting a bit she loved on fellow Cringe Humor Radio program, the Cousin Joe Show, Cris decided it would be a good time to test out Alix’s new and improved shock device on Rhodian. It was much more effective then the oversized Mr. Wizard looking apparatus from last week, but it seemed to deliver more of a burn than a jolt. Later on Alix tried his invention and described the feeling as if both of his arms were being tightly squeezed and taking a hard punch to the chest. Nothing like homemade torture. Hiede revealed her psychic ability to bring death on her enemies and Cousin Joe called in to commiserate. She also spoke of handicapped individual and how he was the bane of her existence, which prompted the creation of horny retard Heide. Everything seemed to take a back seat when we found out that Cris was the double dutch champion two years running at his elementary school. He explained that it was his only way to avoid daily beatings from grade school “schwoogie” thugs. All that plus we provide some in-depth analysis on some top news stories. From a filthy Long Island house full of piss and shit to the rat infested KFC in Manhattan’s West Village, they sure do rat… errr … chicken right.

You Can’t Shock Rhodian and Heide Storms out

Chaos Radio Show — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:42:25 GMT

In an effort to deter Rhodian from screaming into the microphone, Alix designed an apparatus meant to deliver an electric shock into Rhodian’s hands at the touch of a button. We were all pretty excited about it, and the tension built until we tested it and found out it wasn’t working at all. Oh well, Wile E. Coyote. Back to the ol’ drawing board. Angry Heide made a spectacular comeback, first ranting about media coverage of Anna Nicole and then recounting a confrontation in the ladies’ room at school. Cris decided it would be a good idea to further rile the anger by taking the other girl’s side. It definitely had an effect, as Heide stuttered some half-assed warning before throwing down her headphones and storming out of the studio. When she returned, the abuse continued, because of her backing out on her promise to Rissah to join her for the Polar Bear Plunge in New Jersey. She handled the ribbing fine, but seemed to respond by engaging Alix in a vicious dispute over the relevancy of Eva Mendes. We really take on the tough topics here, folks. Cris announced that shooting would begin for his reality show pilot based on Cringe Humor comedians Colin Quinn, Robert Kelly, Patrice O'Neal, Rich Vos, Bonnie McFarlane and Mark Anthony Ramirez. They’ll be filming footage for that pilot this Wednesday, February 21st at Caroline’s on Broadway. Come down and show your support for Cringe Humor and meet the hosts of some of the new shows on Cringe Humor Radio!

You Can’t Shock Rhodian and Heide Storms out

Chaos Radio Show — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:42:25 GMT